Wednesday, July 30, 2008


I was thinking about Dandelions today.


Since the dawn of man, dandelions have been tricking children into doing their dirty work for them.

It is genius - and very evil.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Bad Mommy!

This is a "How could I have let this happen to my child" moment.
An "It's all my fault" scenario.
One of those "I should have been more vigilant" type things.
It's an "I'm gonna beat myself up about this one for a while" kind of situation.

See, I let my child get bit by a stupid, inbred, idiotic, psycho Cocker Spaniel.
The thing that tricked me was that the nice little family of four passed by on an evening walk - the little ones in the Radio Flyer. It always starts out the same. My kids say, "Excuuuuuse meeee! May we pet your dog?" We all go to the sidewalk, intercept them and squat down to pet their dog. Everytime - and I mean everytime, I tell my children to stay out of the dog's face. And I did it this time too. But I guess I was too late because before I knew what happened, Canon was screaming and holding his eye.

What is the appropriate response at a moment like this?
A number of options ran through my head. But somehow, I remained calm in order to bring control and not to exacerbate the chaos.

So I hugged Canon and told him to take a deep breath. I checked him over carefully knowing that if we went to the ER, that unfortunate family would be getting a bill in the mail.

But he seemed ok. Thank God the dog missed his actual eyeball....

The people were very apologetic, but somewhat disengaged. Perhaps they were stunned and embarrassed. Perhaps they were waiting for me to sue them right then and there.

I just kept thinking about what Creighton would have done if one of our dogs bit a child. He would have beat the freaking animal within an inch of it's life - regardless of how many kids and neighbors witnessed it. Both my dad and Creighton's dad would have taken the dog out back and blown it's head off.

These folk simply said, "Tanner, no."

And that is why it comes back to me. I can't be responsible for how someone trains or non-trains their dog. I can only be responsible for how I teach puppy-petting-etiquette to my own children. And I can say that after tonight, I'm gonna be a tad more hardass about it.

Sorry I had to learn this lesson on you Buddy.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Sync issues

I’m in a strange, hazy place. I like my new job at Church of the Resurrection. It is challenging and fun. But taking the position means that I have to put the kids in daycare. I don’t get near the time with them that I would like (or as I used to). At the same time, I know that they will enjoy Hilltop at KU. But, I wonder what all this is about.

We are grieving leaving Wesley KU. We (well, I) second-guess our decision every other hour. We made this decision because we foresaw a better situation for our family, but it feels like everything we have worked on and built at Wesely for the past two years is crumbling.

I think things will make sense once we are able to sell and move. But right now I feel like I’m 19, and I feel incapable of making clear, mature, responsible decisions. I feel like I am out of sync with the proper flow of the universe.

Does that even make sense?

Here is the life I am supposed to be living right now.

I am living in a wooden farm-house out in the country. Nothing huge, just 10 or 20 acres. I own a peacock and lots of other animals for my kids to enjoy. A zorse would be nice (its a cross between a zebra and a horse) but I think that might be stretching it.
I adopt another child or two, and I homeschool all of them.

Seriously, this is the life I dream of. I am not joking. And maybe it's just not time yet. But how do I get there? Rather than me living my life, it seems like my life is living me.

Are you exactly where you dream of being?
If so, or if not - tell me about it.

Friday, July 25, 2008

My Birthday

I am a simple woman, easy to please. A double feature is all I need. For my b-day, my boyf and I went to the movie theater.
We used to go to movies all the time - at least once a week. You guessed it, before we had kids. Now it's netflix and pay per view. I broke up with Blockbuster years ago because I need to draw boundaries and not let someone walk all over me and treat me bad and steal from me. But that's another rant.
Needless to say, it is a decadent treat to hit the theaters, especially when there is so much to choose from right now! Wanted? Hancock? Hellboy II? Journey to the Center of the Earth? But Dark Knight and X-Files won out. Dark Knight because we have seen every BatMan movie have been waiting anxiously for it, and X-Files because we watched every X-Files episode and oh, we hosted X-Files club at our house for 2 years in Dallas.
So, since it was my birthday, I got to choose.

X-Files was first. I so badly wanted to believe. This movie was, how do I say this, a waste of 1.5 precious hours of my life. Ultimate lameness.
I was so glad we saw that one first because I needed something, anything to cleanse my theatrical palate.
Dark Knight did just that.
It was FANtastic. Stuffed with popcorn, I shook my head in wonder and delight for two and a half blissful hours. Sooooo good.

Do you want to watch me make this pencil disappear?

Overall, it was a great night.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


"In this crazy, mixed-up, topsy-turvy world of ours, transitions glue our ideas and our essays together."

A quote I never forgot by an english professor who I have now forgotten. I have been thinking about transitions lately. Not the grammar kind.

Perhaps it is because my family is currently in the middle of one. I think have a fairly high tolerance for change - the adrenaline, the challenge, the hope.
For some reason, we never just make minor adjustments in my world. Change always happens large scale. Or maybe it just feels that way. And maybe it's like that for everyone.
Right now, we are changing jobs, both Creighton and I. We are trying to sell our house - if so, we will move into Kansas City. We are moving the kids to new elementary and pre-schools. We are getting a new nanny. When it rains, it pours. I guess one change begets another though, I suppose. I am just ready for everything to be steady....

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Dance-off between Rain and Colbert

I have watched this literally 47 times. I can't stop!