I’m in a strange, hazy place. I like my new job at Church of the Resurrection. It is challenging and fun. But taking the position means that I have to put the kids in daycare. I don’t get near the time with them that I would like (or as I used to). At the same time, I know that they will enjoy Hilltop at KU. But, I wonder what all this is about.
We are grieving leaving Wesley KU. We (well, I) second-guess our decision every other hour. We made this decision because we foresaw a better situation for our family, but it feels like everything we have worked on and built at Wesely for the past two years is crumbling.
I think things will make sense once we are able to sell and move. But right now I feel like I’m 19, and I feel incapable of making clear, mature, responsible decisions. I feel like I am out of sync with the proper flow of the universe.
Does that even make sense?
Here is the life I am supposed to be living right now.
I am living in a wooden farm-house out in the country. Nothing huge, just 10 or 20 acres. I own a peacock and lots of other animals for my kids to enjoy. A zorse would be nice (its a cross between a zebra and a horse) but I think that might be stretching it.
I adopt another child or two, and I homeschool all of them.
Seriously, this is the life I dream of. I am not joking. And maybe it's just not time yet. But how do I get there? Rather than me living my life, it seems like my life is living me.
Are you exactly where you dream of being?
If so, or if not - tell me about it.