Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My friend likes to kill chipmunks

I shared my loathe for bunnies with my friend Twila (whose name has been changed to protect the fact that she is a ruthless killer).
She shared with me the pre-meditated fashion in which she traps and kills the pesky chipmunks around her yard.
After calling pest control and getting nowhere on her chipmunk problem. She decided to google up herself another option.

Twila's recipe for a dead chipmunk:

Ingredients: 5 gallon bucket. A long 2x4. Sunflower seeds.

Fill the bucket with water (about half full so the chipmunk won't know what you up to).
Lean the 2x4 on the edge of the bucket. This gives the chipmunk easy access to the top. Drizzle the sunflower seeds all the way up the board and atop the water in the bucket. Creating a layer of floating sunflower seeds makes the sucker-chipmunk think he will be able to stand on it.

The chipmunk will blissfully enjoy your sunflower seed gift. He will get caught up in the moment. You can imagine his surprise when he plunks into the watery grave you have prepared for him!

Incidentally, chipmunks are terrible swimmers. "They drown instantly", remarks Twila, "unlike mice who can swim for hours."


Chels said...

Whoa, that's intense, dude. BTW, when we were playing desert golf in Scottsdale, there were bunnies all over the golf course. While Trev played, I spent most of my time trying to run over the bunnies with the golf cart... Just doing my part to rid the world of the nasty varmin. Loves.

Anonymous said...

This method works great. I set it up and then drove off to Home Depot to find any other solutions. When I got back four were floating and a few more looked like they were ready to jump in and join them!