This guy is 8! If you need me, I will be under the covers sucking my thumb in fetal position

Please someone! Stop the clock! Halt time.

Cosmo Seth is such a fun, delightful, imaginative child - I just don't want him to grow up!

Happy Birthday to my awesome little guy!

Wildlife Wednesday

A single moment, capturing God's amazing creation. A Wednesday ritual. If you don't slow down, you will miss an opportunity to connect with the wildlife around you.

Dirt bath in the sun

Did you know that chickens bathe themselves in dirt? They dig little potholes and cover themselves in dry dirt or sand to clean out any mites or sitcky debris they may have on their body. It's hilarious. I like to imagine what they talk about while sun-bathing. Do they gossip? Perhaps they complain about the crappy food served here. Do they daydream of rooster-right who would one day swoop them off their feet?
When they are done, they stand up and shimmy and shake off all the dirt. They fluff up and prance off like the bell of the ball.

"Mighty Girls" book circle started today

Whitby set her alarm for 7:30 this morning to make sure that we would get everything done in preparation for our Mighty Girls book circle. Our first meeting was today and it went so well! We had 8 girls in attendance and there are others joining in next week.

The purpose of our group is essentially to reach outside of South, USA to explore the lives of other mighty girls around the country, and around the globe. To be inspired by GREAT people who risked family, reputation, and even life in order to make this world a better place. We will interact with different cultures and characters from various eras. With adolescence right around the corner, I want these girls to have strong role models, strong values, strong goals to shoot for. I want to help them SHINE!

For the first 8 weeks, our emphasis is cross cultural. Wow! You would be amazed at how many resources are out there if you just do a little digging.

We spread out blankets and pillows on the deck overlooking the creek. The temperature on this early fall morning, could not have been more perfect. The ducks quacked over to the pond to listen in.

I lined out expectations for the group.
1. Safe place to express questions, observations and dreams.
2. Approach this group as a learner, an explorer.
3. Start on time and end on time - - then stay and play and have fun.
4. The views of our literary choices do not necessarily reflect the views of the circle leader - Me (disclaimer for the mamas out there).

We are starting with The Breadwinner, by Deborah Ellis. It is the first book of 3 in a trilogy about a brave young girl in Afghanistan who made a difference in the world. While she did not choose her circumstances, she chose what she would do with the time and resources she has been given.

I would love for you to read along with us. All the 9,10,11 year olds - and me. I have great hopes of becoming a better woman, mom, and human through this group. I mean hey, I already feel like my daughter is more mature than me, so it should work out great.

Wildlife Wednesday

A single moment, capturing God's amazing creation. I met this fungi in the woods while walking the dogs this morning. It's a path I take every single day - only just noticed him today. Friends, if we don't slow down, we will miss opportunities to connect with the wildlife around us.

Grandma Sayings, MASHUP

"Mommy, Nana says that if you stare at the microwave, it will catch on fire."
~Whitby

So we all went in the kitchen to try it.

After nothing happened, I assured Whitby that what Nana probably said was, "If you put metal in the microwave, it will catch on fire." And also, "If you stare at the microwave, it will hurt your eyes."

This led to a hilarious rant for the children and I about Grandma sayings and how we might get confused if we are not really careful.

I made up a few:

If you swim 30 minutes after eating, children will starve in Africa.
If you step on a crack, you will break a mirror.
If you cross your fingers behind your back, they will stay that way.

And how about this doozie:

If you let your baby crawl under a ladder with wet hair before opening an umbrella, will you tell if it's a boy or girl, or stutter, or be struck by lightening twice? And if at first you don't succeed eating an apple a day while planting your garden on Good Friday, will you catch a cold or will it stunt your growth?

Book Club, anyone?

IF, perchance you are located in the Tuscaloosa area.....

My daughter and I are starting a book club. We want to encourage girls, age 9-11 to join us on our deck overlooking the creek. The book club is called "Mighty Girls". We will explore the lives of Mighty Girls throughout history, both non-fiction and fiction, both in America and abroad. We will focus on values such as: Leadership, Overcoming, Creativity, Justice, Exploration, Adventure, Freedom, Culture, and Becoming the mighty girl/woman that God created you to be!

After we gather interest, we wil pick a time that works for everyone and get to reading! Moms are welcome to drop off, or stay with your daughter and observe.

Message me if you and your daughter are interested. We look forward to hearing from you. We are both super-exicted to get started!

Below are a few options we are considering for our first book:


If you are not in Tuscaloosa, but would like to give your input on each of these books, I would greatly appreciate it! I have not read them all, but have scoured the internet for book reviews.

Taming the tongue: Gotta start young.

Go up to the lifeguard and say, "Boobies!"
I don't like the game Truth or Dare because it never ends well.

The "dare" always ends up being something inappropriate, and the "truth" is inevitably used as fodder for ridicule.
On this particular day, the game ended as my daughter came to me crying because her brother embarrassed her in front of the other kids. During her turn, someone asked the question, "What is one thing you can't live without?" My son blurted out, "I know this one! Daddy Panda!" Daddy Panda is her favorite stuffed animal. As the kids laughed, my daughter came running to me at the other end of the pool, and my son knew immediately what he had done.

After he contritely apologized for betraying her confidence, the two proceeded to tell me all the kid-gossip. That girl is scared of the deep-end. So-and-so likes So-and-so, and one boy said "boobies" to Miss Britney.

We got home I called a meeting to further discuss the days' events. I thought of James chapter 3 and explained the idea of "taming the tongue".
James 3:7,8 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue.

We talked about how the bible has lots to say about our words and how we can use them for building up or for tearing down. We discussed definitions of words and phrases. What is gossip? What is a rumor and how is it different or the same as a lie? What is meant by "betraying confidence"? What does it mean to tell secrets?

We brainstormed a few tongue-taming rules:

If something is discouraging rather than encouraging, or you think it might hurt someone's feelings, don't say it.
If it's not your news to share, don't share it.
If you don't know that a story is true, don't spread it.
If it is inappropriate or potentially embarrassing, don't let it come out of your mouth!

Finally, we looked up some verses in Psalms and Proverbs.

"Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies."
(Psalms 34:12-13, NIV)

"Your tongue plots destruction; it is like a sharpened razor, you who practice deceit."
(Psalms 52:2, NIV)

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret."
(Proverbs 11:13, NIV)

"A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends."
(Proverbs 16:28, NIV)

"The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts."
(Proverbs 18:8, NIV)

"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much."
(Proverbs 20:19, NIV)

How true it is, that taming the tongue is a lifelong journey. Reading these verses aloud reminds me that NOW is the time to bust out those bridles. While current content of kid-gossip seems mostly harmless, that beast will only get stronger and the stakes will only get higher, and the word *boobies* will be the least of my worries.

This Moment

We had a Roo for only 3 weeks. He is a black jersey giant - gorgeous. Wonder what these little tykes will end up looking like....

The language of our virtues

The sidekicks and I were strolling the Black Worrior River after the farmers market, and my daughter said, "Mom - you're the best mom a girl could ever have." Blushing, I replied, "Well I don't know about that, but thank you very much." She immediately called me out about that. "Don't invalidate my feelings, mom (I kid you not, the 9 year old said that). If I say you are then you are - - in my opinion, you are. I mean. You are such a fun mom. You are energetic and creative. You are a self-starter and a problem-solver. You're never lazy and you never gossip. And you always treat us with respect."

Wow. Totally blown away by this girl. She rattled off 8 or 9 virtues in the blink of an eye.

I did not mean for this post to rabbit trail on my qualities as "the best mom ever". I certainly have more blind-spots than I can count. But I love how the language of our virtues seeps into their everyday vocabulary.



My point is: Our children learn what they hear and see. I talk to them and (try to) model particular virtues in everyday life. They listen and practice and experiment with the virtues we present to them.

What are the virtues that are close to your heart and soul?
What virtues did you learn either directly or indirectly growing up?

Yes!

Yes.
Everything yes - unless of course, harm.
Yes, only when and as long as.
No hinders, haults creativity.
No stifles, sabotages confidence.
So, yes.
The answer is yes.
Examine all angles, exhaust all possibilities with wild imagination.
Yes!
Now, how?

One of my goals in coaching my children is helping them problem solve. Push through to the next level to find solutions. How can we help our children be problem-solvers if we are always taking the easy route of saying (or barking with furrowed brow) NO!
Rather, the higher road, as exemplified by my friend/mentor Vicki, is to word our correction in a way that encourages free thought and exploration of ideas. Does this take more work? Yes. Do we still provide consistent boundaries for children?
Yes.
The answer is yes. Now, how?

My summer with beverages.

Looking back at all my moments captured in Summer 2013, I notice a trend weaving in and out of the photos. That trend: Me enjoying tasty bevs with some of my favorite people. Obviously I had a super summer.

This Moment

Love our 1/4 mile trail. And the sweet deck my hubs built. I take the dogs on a walk around the property twice a day. It is so great to experience the sights and smells of the woods. I love connecting with nature and these guys love it too!

Somehow, I got all the dogs to pose for a pic.

Expanded patio and future home of outdoor kitchen!

We practically live outdoors. For the last two years we have been clearing, cutting, shaping, chopping, digging, planting - - and dreaming about what our backyard could be. One year ago, we planted 40 pallets of sod which is flourishing and still looks beautiful! Only there is one stubborn spot on which we can not grow grass! It has multiple obstacles - - shade, water and traffic.

Our solution: Concrete it!

We could not have made a better choice. Since we spend so much time outside anyway, expanding our patio area makes perfect sense.

The Elders

The elderly as they once were.....

This article that has been re-circulating around Facebook lately. It is so captivating to be reminded that Elders were once soldiers, nurses, fire-fighters, knock-outs!

I shared it with my children and they were fascinated! They call older folks "elders" and I love it. I have never corrected them, because I think the term "elder" captures the essence of a life well-lived. It captures the tip-of-the-hat respect that people of age deserve after a long, fruitful journey.

I simply love looking at photos of my grandparents as vibrant, happy youngsters - with their whole lives ahead of them.
My brother recently shared this photo of my Grandparents, Kay and Coye Whitby.

This photo is from 1958. My mother was born in '46. So mom was 12 and Gran Gran and Daddy Kay were in their mid 30's. I am in awe of this simple moment captured.










Coye was a beautician and Kay worked for the Railroad.

Daddy Kay was a gentle soul - never cross with us, his grandchildren; always kind, always seeking quality time with us. He went to church every Sunday from the time he was a boy until he died at age 84. He provided a great middle class living for his family. He even allowed my dad to live with them and work during high school until my parents could graduate and marry. After he retired, he became a realtor in our small texas town, and they were both well-known, well-loved, well-thought of.

Gran Gran had a colorful sense of humor, was a strong woman with a big personality. She was the matriarch of the family. A woman who knew what she wanted and how to make it happen. I remember that she was a hell-of-a golfer and that she threw the most amazing parties. Nothing can touch the memories I have of Christmas Eve parties at her house. Pie after pie after pie donned the dessert table. All the adults were dressed to the 9s, and always very jubilant, funny and interactive (it's only in my adulthood that I understand it was because all wine she served!).

As my birthday approaches, I can't help but think of all the elders who have gone before me, and how my time as an elder is fast upon me. May we honor those lives-well-lived among us. May we remember our youth and embrace our present. May we not fear and not fret about the days ahead.

Complaining

This summer, my children have gotten into a habit of complaining (or at least, this summer I am more aware of it). One will wake up and tell me they didn't sleep well because the curtains were cracked and the light came in the room. One will tell me they don't want to go to the pool because NO ONE will be there. Another will complain of being too hot, or having mosquito bites, or the worst of the worst, "I'm bored".

Typically when I hear a complaint, I respond un-compassionately with a blasé and half sarcastic, "I'm sorry". When it gets really bad, I tell them to get their gardening gloves and come on outside with me to pull weeds. The weed pulling is a win-win for me, a necessary chore that doubles as discipline. It makes me wonder about all the chores I was required to do as a child. Was I once a habitual complainer? If so, I was certainly cured of it by building, repairing and painting fences, herding cattle on horseback, schlepping hay bales and driving the tractor - all by age 4. Or something like that - the details are hazy :).

Anyway, it has been troubling me lately. So, I was ironically bitching about it to my friend Teresa at dinner the other night. This wisdom-woman immediately quoted 1st Thessalonians 5:18, and shared how she coaches her children when they complain.

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

I love it. And I know this verse by heart, as well as the two before it.

16. Always be joyful. 17. Never stop praying. 18. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

This morning before breakfast, I got out my bible and did a little DEVO on complaining and being thankful. I reminded them of God's goodness and the beauty of our simple life... though we are not rich, they have not a need in the world that has not been met... how grateful we are for our property, our animals, our ability to stay home, our blessing of going to a pool everyday... we Alexanders are THANKFUL people.

Then I went on with, "When I was your age, blah blah blah." Kidding. I did not go there.

The children were so humble and so receptive. They listened intently and interacted with me. One of them replied, "Mommy, I never hear you complain." Thank God, that for all of my blind spots and misses with these kids, they have recognized the value and the difference - that I have modeled gratefulness and have hushed grumbling.

We went on with our day and I continued pressing into God's guidance on this.

He brought to mind my friend Michelle, who has been intentional about using scripture in discipline since I can remember. I searched for an email thread, from a time when she was sharing with me about Ginger Plowman, who has an entire ministry working with moms on discipline through God's word. I perused Ginger's website and ordered a couple of books. Looks like we are going to have a little family book club when school starts back up again. I CAN HARDLY WAIT!

I am so thankful for my friends who mentor and challenge me. Days and years can go by but God uses every Spirit-led conversation to continue to shape and challenge, encourage and gently rebuke.

I pray that one day my children will look back and remember this day: "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." And I look forward to the Lord's leading through scripture as I shepherd my little ones.