As I was dragging my dog out of the middle of the road, I watched as the girl (who hit Starbuck) and her mom (who had shown up within minutes) as they sobbed and held each other. Through her tears, the girl said, "I'm so sorry". Her mom repeated, "I'm so sorry this happened."
We exchanged numbers before we left the scene.
Creighton and I later relived the play by play of the accident, and we felt compelled to call the girl. Creighton talked to her briefly.
"I just want you to hear it from us, that this is not your fault." We do not blame you in any way."
She thanked him and said that it meant a lot for him to call.
Then we began to dissect the situation and found ourselves both trying to take the blame. We found all the blame we could muster up and beat ourselves with it for about 5 minutes.
Finally, we came to our senses and concluded that it was a tragic, freak accident of timing.
I think people obsess about finding fault. What is it inside of us that yearns for
someone to pin the blame on? Is it comforting? Does anger help take away some of the pain of loss and sadness?